Another Rung of the Ladder

SIX POUNDS. I lost 6 pounds this week! I like the way those words look. I like the way they sound. Ohhhhh. I've struggled this week over numbers. I made a pot of Pasta Fagioli last weekend. It's not unlike my Minestrone in flavor, but my Minestrone is loaded with vegetables. The Pasta Fagioli was a dry bean variety mix from the grocery store with a packet of seasonings, and the only vegetables added were some onion, celery, carrot and a can to tomato sauce. A half cup was 120 calories. A CUP of my Minestrone (thanks to the veggie content)is 114. A cup of anything fills me up for a while. A half cup of something doesn't cut it. So I found myself having 1 cup portions, 240 calories, add a fruit, add a sandwich at times, and come bedtime, I was out of calories and could not settle into bed with a hot tea and SOMEthing. I won't do the Pasta Fagioli again, but I'm relieved to see the scales responded SO favorably. I just didn't like the squirrely feeling I got when at 6pm I had no play room. Sometimes I want a glass of wine with dinner. Most nights, there wasn't anything left in the calorie budget to allow it. I went without. "I went without". Those words poke sharp pins in my inner sense of deprivation; a sensation not conducive to my success. I realized it, and at one point reached out via Facebook where I was sustained by encouraging words. My next status update was as follows:

"The next time I'm teetering on the brink of caloric destruction, someone remind me how good it felt this morning to wake up and not feel defeated. I would never beat myself up over half a banana, but there could have been an avalanche had I opted to open the pantry door, and I'd have been forced to eat my way out."

It was such a relief to start a new day on the high road. It's been a good week. I've stocked my arsenal (freezer) with ammo for the week. There's a very small turkey breast. There's a tray of 4 boneless piggie steaks. There's a plump chicken for another beer can bird. Last night was baked salmon. I'm 2 pounds away from my monthly goal with 2 Saturdays left. It's working. I'm doing it. When I look at my goal sheet that is already laid out for an entire year of Saturday weigh-ins, I see where I was in August. I see where I started this new year with monthly goals. I see where I am now and look at where I have vision to be in July, and I am without words. I cannot believe it will happen, but in the swirl of the tornado right now, I know it IS happening. It IS possible!