Vacation is behind me now, perhaps moreso than I care to believe. Now granted, we got back at 2:40 this afternoon and I made an immediate dash to the bathroom having been in a car in the rain for something over 3 hours with 2 coffees and a refill on water under my belt. While in the bathroom, I weighed. Bad move to begin with since I always weigh very first thing in the morning, but I did it anyway. The scales made me unhappy. VERY unhappy. As of about 2:45 this afternoon, they say I gained 5 lbs this week. I won't get really distraught until I weigh in the morning, but I'm bummed!
We were SO good on vacation. I mean, I say "we", but much of the time I did what I know to be the right thing and watched Neil do otherwise. But then there were times too when he'd go out of his way to make things right for me. For instance, in Chattanooga, we stayed at a bed and breakfast. It was NICE, and upscale from other b-n-b's I've stayed at. Their breakfast specialty was hot, fresh croissants the size of dinner plates. I never had one. Some days, Neil had 2. Instead, my usual breakfast from their self serve spread was a pack of instant oatmeal made with hot water from the coffee pot, a bowl of fresh fruit, and a plate of scrambled eggs from the kitchen, which they prepared per person upon arrival always scrambled, and probably the equivalent of 3 eggs if I had to guess. I didn't eat the freshly prepared quiche or the croissants or the yogurt I could safely say wasn't low fat. Ok....so that was breakfast M/T/W. Lunch on Sunday as we left for Chattanooga was Wendy's...and it was breakfast too: small chili, side salad with dressing on the side to stick my fork in to before poking salad, and a kiddie sized frostie and water. I saved the pack of croutons in my pocketbook in case I was out and about and needed a snack. I never drank anything BUT water the whole trip and would have the waitress refill my glass 2-4 times in the course of a meal. At night, we'd open a bottle of wine and polish off 2 glasses each, but WAIT...I'm not done yet.
My days run together, so I can't remember what I had for lunch on a given day and what paired up as supper that night, but one day we ate at River Grille. I ordered Chicken Flautas...didn't know they were FRIED, but I peeled the filling out and ate that, and ate the black beans and rice that came with it. Another day, we ate at Blue something....I ordered a jumbo shrimp cocktail and a side of seasonal veggies, and THAT was lunch with about 4 waters. One night for dinner, it was LATE, and we had taken the sunset river cruise, only it rained. We decided on Mexican food. But even there, we were good! Yes, we ate chips and salsa, but for our entree, we ordered a grilled chicken dish that was served with grilled peppers and onions....no cheese, no rice, no beans...just veggies and meat GRILLED, and we SPLIT it!!! Yes! That's what I'm sayin'! At no time did I let my guard down and do bad!
Once we left Chatt...oh, but wait...there was another meal...our fanciest endeavor. It was at 212 Market Street in Chattanooga. I ordered a half order of their "watermelon and tomato salad with jalapeno and bacon dressing"....OMG! It was outstanding! So much so, I can't remember exactly WHAT my entree was except it came served on bulgar and went straight through me....I think it was salmon, but Neil couldn't remember either. It's written down in the car. THAT's how committed I was to doing good. But the "salad"....it was 2 slabs of tomato and a same sized round slab of watermelon in the middle, served on a long skinny rectangular plate. Over that, they let arugula leaves land where they may, and then on top, I swear, was no more than 2 T of dressing, albeit creamy, there wasn't much, but it was packed with fresh flavor of herbs, jalapeno, and just a bit of bacon. It will stand out in my mind forever as something I wish I could duplicate. Another meal in Chattanooga...see, it's all coming back to me...we went to a place the river cruise lady suggested. It was like a summer fish camp fish fry, but I ordered the grilled salmon salad, again with dressing on the side to fork. The salmon portion was small and probably just right. This was the night I had set aside to be my dessert night, but when I looked at the menu, my options were a hot fudge sundae, a slice of key lime pie, or something else...none of which was what I had hoped for so I didn't order any dessert.
Ok, so we left Chattanooga and headed for Gatlinburg. Breakfast was my usual from the b-n-b. Lunch was Wendy's: small chili, side salad, dressing on the side, but this time, a side of mandarin oranges instead of a kiddie frostie. Once in Gatlinburg, we hit a grocery store for supper and breakfast preparations. We bought a ready to eat tray of veggies with veggie dip included: brocolli, tomatoes, carrots, and cauliflower. We bought a similar tray of fruits, also with dip: pineapple, strawberries, grapes, and melon. We bought light string cheese and oatmeal. Supper the first night was grilled porkchops and boiled corn on the cob, no butter, and we grazed from the fresh trays. Supper the second night was baked salmon pinwheels, prepared at the grocery store: no more than a portion of salmon pinwheeled with a spinach and feta stuffing, more spinach than anything. We also bought a prepared thing of macaroni and cheese to go with it, but we made sure to get the pack that had 2 single servings since mac-n-cheese is something we both love way too much. Again we grazed from veggies and fruits. With our fruit each night, we had a serving of angel food cake as dessert. Now, let's see...lunches in G'burg...we did bbq one day. I ordered the pulled pork plate, no bun, and had green beans and a baked potato for my sides and only used 1 pat of butter of the 4 she brought me, and a spoon of sour cream. It was there that I cashed in on my dessert I didn't get on my planned night...homemade blackberry cobbler with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. It was big on berry and low on crust, and the ball of ice cream was small, so I was pleased with myself. Another lunch was at The Old Mill Restaurant...think Cracker Barrel. I ordered a cup of vegetable beef soup to start with and had the open faced turkey sandwich with mashed potatoes, gravy, and green beans. I ate all the beans, half the potatoes, 2/3 of the turkey, and none of the bread underneath. But here's the kicker, and my only real fall from grace...it must be a TN thing...instead of hushpuppies they bring these fried bread balls...don't know if it's biscuit dough or what, but they're like donuts, just way less sweet. I had 2 of those with lunch. Last night for our last night out we ate at a restaurant instead of dirtying more pots, pans and dishes at the cabin so we could make a quick getaway this morning. Again, it was sort of a Cracker Barrel type place. They greeted us with an Apple Julep....a juice glass of cider mixed with pineapple juice, we think, and mint. That was followed by our choice of soup, so again, I went veggie...not potato or brocolli cheese. Along with that came more of those damned bread balls! Only this time they came with homemade applebutter. Yes, I did. I have no regrets...they were THAT good, and not capable of a 5 lb gain. My entree was 2 8" skewers of chicken and steak with onions, peppers, and cherry tomatoes, grilled. My sides were MORE green beans and applesauce. The skewers were supposed to come on a bed of rice, but they forgot it and I didn't mention it given my dough balls. Lastly was our breakfast this morning. Husband said he didn't feel like he could really say he'd been to Gatlinburg unless he had pancakes since every other thing you saw was a pancake restaurant. Everything else was Christmas shops or bbq joints, or Elvis impersonators. So we plotted to go to Flapjacks...entirely his choice and I was going along for the ride since he had been so accommodating to my food choices every meal, every day. He got the huge trough of fried eggs, sausage links, stack of pancakes, and large juice. I ordered the "Healthy Egg Breakfast"...a serving of scrambled egg substitute, 2 multi-grain pancakes sprinkled with pecans, and a banana. I removed the scoop of butter from my plate, sliced the banana on my pancakes and used half as much syrup as I ever would have. More water and black coffee. Every choice I made all week was well thought out and calculated. Whenever I thought I might have to cross the line, there was always an alternative and I was in the right frame of mind to make that choice.
What I haven't mentioned is the EXERCISE!!! When we got to Chattanooga, we parked the car and didn't use it again until it was time to leave, with the exception of the last night dinner there that was about 15 miles off the beaten path and required a gps to get us there. Our b-n-b was 12 blocks from all the cool stuff to do. That took us to the river's edge. Then there were 3 bridges crossing the TN River. One was strictly traffic, one was pedestrian and traffic, the last was strictly pedestrian. They told us at the visitor's center if we walked the ped/traffic bridge to the other side and walked down to the ped bridge to come back, we'd cover 1 mile alone just walking the bridges, and that didn't even take into account the 12 blocks we walked to get there, the 12 blocks we needed to walk to get back, or all the walking we did in amongst the 12th blocks left and right to take in the IMAX theater (twice), the aquarium, the restaurants for lunches, antique shops and gift shops, OR the things we walked to once we crossed to the other side! Ironic that I literally crossed a river while waiting to cross the illusive one on the scales. We estimated that on our "longest" day, we walked 4 miles round trip, and it was 97 degrees.
Another thing worth mentioning, somewhere along the way, we stopped for gas and I was hungry. I bought an apple and a banana in the convenience store...paid too much, but I was always thinking and making good choices for least fat and best calorie bargains. I kept the apple in my purse until the sunset cruise and ate it then instead of buying Doritoes or M&Ms on the boat. I don't see how I gained. I'm not even going to say I gained 5 lbs...not until I weigh in the morning like usual. Until then, I refuse to own it. This is the first trip EVER where I didn't order the richest, fattest thing on the menu every meal, every day. We didn't keep cookies around, we didn't buy fudge, everything was clean, fresh food. The only exception was the dough balls and our nightly glass or 2 of wine. We'll see what morning brings.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Saturday....really!
The scales continue to keep me on the shore. The image in my head today is of me sitting patiently by the water rather than standing, poised to cross. I don't think it's realistic to think I'll lose an ounce away from home, especially for a week. I'll be crazy happy if I can stay the same and resume next Sunday. The best I can hope for is that I'll be 1) presented with good options, 2) make the best food choices I can 3) drink the water, and 4) find exercise opportunities.
Yesterday I stayed hungry, and that's frustrating. I wasn't going to have lunch after having a big, late brunch, but about 2:30, after my 45 minute workout, I was ravenous. I boiled 2 fat free hotdogs, 45 cal each, ate them on lite wheat buns, 70 cal each I think, and had an ounce of 40% less fat multi-grain sunflower chips. Had mustard, ketchup, and onions on the dogs, and finished with a wedge of watermelon. So that was 2:45-ish. Supper time rolled around and again I was ready to eat.
Husband volunteered to cook, and he was thoughtful in his preparation. Maybe a little heavy handed on olive oil, but otherwise "on the program". He called it Shrimp Primavera. Shrimp, brocolli, onion, garlic, whole wheat pasta (and very limited at that) yellow squash, and asparagus...olive oil, herbs, and a tiny bit of grated parmesan. He had me dip up the plates, and I think I was good on it. It's hard when foods are mixed together like that, but I made a round island of food in the middle of the dinner plate and probably only covered 1/3 of its area.
I did however get in the chips before dinner, albeit reduced fat, perhaps 2 servings, and I polished off the last 7oz lite beer in the fridge. That gets a paragraph all to itself, and I'd be fibbin' if I didn't mention it.
So there it is...my yesterday. I own it. It was totally of my own creation. And you know what? In the grand scheme of things, these days come, and these days go. Once I get into weekly weigh in mode, these setbacks will fade.
My son is coming home for a night tonight before we "abandon" him tomorrow for vacation. He's done with 1 summer job that has kept him in the woods since June 4. Now he'll lifeguard at the new aquatic center whenever they need him, but stay with his dad this coming week in order to rack up some hours and income at job #2.
So this may be my last post until I return next Saturday. I really think vacation should be freedom from all such ties to home base routine. I hope to have a week full of sights and sounds to keep me occupied. Til next time ~ ttfn
Yesterday I stayed hungry, and that's frustrating. I wasn't going to have lunch after having a big, late brunch, but about 2:30, after my 45 minute workout, I was ravenous. I boiled 2 fat free hotdogs, 45 cal each, ate them on lite wheat buns, 70 cal each I think, and had an ounce of 40% less fat multi-grain sunflower chips. Had mustard, ketchup, and onions on the dogs, and finished with a wedge of watermelon. So that was 2:45-ish. Supper time rolled around and again I was ready to eat.
Husband volunteered to cook, and he was thoughtful in his preparation. Maybe a little heavy handed on olive oil, but otherwise "on the program". He called it Shrimp Primavera. Shrimp, brocolli, onion, garlic, whole wheat pasta (and very limited at that) yellow squash, and asparagus...olive oil, herbs, and a tiny bit of grated parmesan. He had me dip up the plates, and I think I was good on it. It's hard when foods are mixed together like that, but I made a round island of food in the middle of the dinner plate and probably only covered 1/3 of its area.
I did however get in the chips before dinner, albeit reduced fat, perhaps 2 servings, and I polished off the last 7oz lite beer in the fridge. That gets a paragraph all to itself, and I'd be fibbin' if I didn't mention it.
So there it is...my yesterday. I own it. It was totally of my own creation. And you know what? In the grand scheme of things, these days come, and these days go. Once I get into weekly weigh in mode, these setbacks will fade.
My son is coming home for a night tonight before we "abandon" him tomorrow for vacation. He's done with 1 summer job that has kept him in the woods since June 4. Now he'll lifeguard at the new aquatic center whenever they need him, but stay with his dad this coming week in order to rack up some hours and income at job #2.
So this may be my last post until I return next Saturday. I really think vacation should be freedom from all such ties to home base routine. I hope to have a week full of sights and sounds to keep me occupied. Til next time ~ ttfn
Friday, July 23, 2010
I Tamed the Beast
I got to the Y later than usual since everything else seems to be in a different orbit today anyway. I was overly hot because as I exited the house into 93 degrees, I saw how pathetic my plants looked, so took a good 15 minutes in the heat to go around and make sure everything was hydrated and filled the bird bath. I got so hot so fast, everything seemed like it went into slow motion. I think it was a combination of heat and allergy pill, but I felt really sluggish and wasn't sure a workout was in the best interest, but didn't want to talk myself out of it. The hot van doesn't cool off in the 6 minute drive to the Y either. So I go on the treadmill. Was only up to 2.3 on speed after 10 minutes, and just wasn't feeling it. You know? Not my thing today. Fortunately the place cleared out, and it was just me and the recumbent bike...heeheehee. For 35 minutes, I rode the beast! It wasn't bad, but I got snookered on calorie burn. I mean, I know the machines are just that, and how accurate are the read outs for telling me?....I don't know, but I watch them as if life depends on them and set myself little goals along the way....I won't get off til 250 calories, or, well, at least an even number or one that ends in a 5! I get more bang for my buck on the treadmill, but I feel like I worked so much harder on the bike! Yet it says I only burned 150 calories in the same amount of time I would normally spend on a treadmill and burn 250! I did however "cover" over 5 miles vs the 1.5 on the treadmill in the same time. I got off the bike and headed for the elliptical, but my legs were so weak and wobbly recovering from the bike, I couldn't work hard enough to keep the elliptical from pausing, so I called it a day. 45 minutes of good exercise today. :) Now I need lunch.
Saturday...not really
Husband took a vacation day today he had to use within a certain time frame, so I'm a little off today, but trying to go through the motions of what Friday should be. It just feels like Saturday, which causes a little anxiety because in reality that would mean we leave tomorrow for our real vacation....and we are SO not ready! I think I got a big snoot full of dog hair this morning and am feeling the ill effects. The 11 year old dog who has been having some health issues felt well enough to get up in bed with me this morning and be playful. He is however shedding a lot. So much so, the entire bed has to be stripped and the fur magnet of a blanket is currently washing. I've taken an allergy pill and used antihistamine eye drops, but feel like I'm on the verge of an asthma attack....and I don't have asthma. As soon as things level out, I'm dressed and ready to go to the Y.
I need to cross over before Sunday. I'm getting a little impatient. If I don't do it before then, I'll miss it, or so I hope, as I will be scale-less all week. And I need to be. I need to get out of the habit of weighing daily. This morning I was up a smidge, half a smidge to be exact. Not enough to discourage me, but evidence that confirms what I already knew...weighing daily is not a good habit for that very reason. I don't feel like I'll be free from the scale and daily weigh until I cross over, and then I have a REALLY long journey before there's need to obsess again. I want to be successful on vacation with my food choices. I don't want it to be like my week long class was and have it turn into a feeding frenzy. For that reason I hope to continue to blog while off home base, providing wireless cooperates. I doubt it will in the Smokie Mountains from a cabin, but I may be surprised. Certainly I'll be ok from Chattanooga for the first leg of the trip.
Food last night was a pretty fun experiment. We thawed 1 cod fillet and cut it into 2 portions. Put each on a sheet of parchment, covered the fish with onions, peppers, mushrooms, capers, yellow squash, asparagus, s/p, and then made a sauce of tomato paste, soy sauce, wasabi, garlic salt, and smoked paprika, and slathered it on top. Then we wrapped the paper into pouches, folding the open ends under, and baked them at 400 for 20 minutes. We served it with a serving of rice. It was really good! The only thing that would have made it better is if we'd kept it in a bit longer for the veggies to cook a little more. The fish was done, but that was a PILE of veggies!
Breakfast this morning was later than usual, but too early to call lunch. It was a Morningstar Chik-n pattie on an English muffin with a slab of tomato, vidalia onion, lettuce, dill pickles, and mustard, with a side of fresh pineapple and cantaloupe and a glass of skim milk. I like the Garden Veggie patties better, but I'm eating down the contents of the freezer and not buying anything new until the old is gone. There will be a late afternoon snack instead of lunch, and then supper will likely involve shrimp if I dig deep enough into the frozen abyss.
I think symptoms have subsided enough now; I'm off to the Y! Back later~
I need to cross over before Sunday. I'm getting a little impatient. If I don't do it before then, I'll miss it, or so I hope, as I will be scale-less all week. And I need to be. I need to get out of the habit of weighing daily. This morning I was up a smidge, half a smidge to be exact. Not enough to discourage me, but evidence that confirms what I already knew...weighing daily is not a good habit for that very reason. I don't feel like I'll be free from the scale and daily weigh until I cross over, and then I have a REALLY long journey before there's need to obsess again. I want to be successful on vacation with my food choices. I don't want it to be like my week long class was and have it turn into a feeding frenzy. For that reason I hope to continue to blog while off home base, providing wireless cooperates. I doubt it will in the Smokie Mountains from a cabin, but I may be surprised. Certainly I'll be ok from Chattanooga for the first leg of the trip.
Food last night was a pretty fun experiment. We thawed 1 cod fillet and cut it into 2 portions. Put each on a sheet of parchment, covered the fish with onions, peppers, mushrooms, capers, yellow squash, asparagus, s/p, and then made a sauce of tomato paste, soy sauce, wasabi, garlic salt, and smoked paprika, and slathered it on top. Then we wrapped the paper into pouches, folding the open ends under, and baked them at 400 for 20 minutes. We served it with a serving of rice. It was really good! The only thing that would have made it better is if we'd kept it in a bit longer for the veggies to cook a little more. The fish was done, but that was a PILE of veggies!
Breakfast this morning was later than usual, but too early to call lunch. It was a Morningstar Chik-n pattie on an English muffin with a slab of tomato, vidalia onion, lettuce, dill pickles, and mustard, with a side of fresh pineapple and cantaloupe and a glass of skim milk. I like the Garden Veggie patties better, but I'm eating down the contents of the freezer and not buying anything new until the old is gone. There will be a late afternoon snack instead of lunch, and then supper will likely involve shrimp if I dig deep enough into the frozen abyss.
I think symptoms have subsided enough now; I'm off to the Y! Back later~
Thursday, July 22, 2010
*sigh*
It's comforting to know that while I was facing off with one battle last night, my new "friend" Sean was facing off with another. Maybe not in real time, but in blog time. His battle was against a Chinese buffet / birthday celebration. Mine was against looking for a bike in front of God and everybody. Sean was the catalyst, but as I read more and more blogs linked to his this week, I know there are hundreds, if not thousands of Seans out there. I'm a Sean too. We're all Seans. It's just Sean put a face on the journey and gave it a voice...and here we are. I almost weenied out of going when my husband posed the question, "Are we going bike shopping tonight?" I had a choice to make. It was still my decision. So I said, "ok". We ate a quick supper...a grilled individual sized lean turkey/cheddar smoked sausage link on a lite wheat hotdog bun with mustard, smothered in Pam sauteed peppers, onions, and mushrooms, and cantalope. We considered our options: Sears, Walmart, Kmart, and Dick's Sporting Goods. We ruled out Kmart and Walmart, just because, and hit Dick's. I was happy to see a huge selection of bikes lining the back wall in 2 rows, floor to ceiling. Did I care most about the selection? No. I liked that it was the most isolated, least traveled section of the store! This was a really big step for me; one that could easily bring me to tears and send my self-esteem crashing. Husband pulled a bike from the rack and I "tried it on". I have many issues factoring in to the difficulty of this task. I think my weight is an issue, but my husband assures me (I love him) that with the RIGHT bike, it will not be an issue. The next being my roundness. There was a time that I was shaped sort of like a guitar, ok? From the front I was curvy, and I could turn to the side and be flat. Now I'm more like a pear, same view, 360 degrees, with legs. Short legs. So this bike HAS to allow space between the front of the seat and the handle bars for my pear. Then there's the leg issue. I don't plan on getting any taller. I do plan to rid myself of thigh and calf circumference, but length is what it is. So here's the problem. I can't seem to find a bike that will allow my feet to be flat on the ground at any time. At best, all we've found is one where I can be on my tip-toes, and even then, the pointier-than-it-looks front of the seat is...lodged. Say no more. We weren't there 2 minutes and someone discovered us. This can't be good. My heart rate goes up and my legs get shakey because deep down I know the end of this story. This tall, broad, handsome black man, kind as the day is long, is going to make this short, round white girl get on a bike. In front of him. He has no clue of the internal trauma this is causing. I mean I'm just now, THIS week, comfortable dragging my husband into this battle with me. He still doesn't know what I weigh. He hasn't asked, and I haven't volunteered. Now granted, many a morning when I go in to weigh, he's in the shower and in plain view of the scales with nothing but a clear glass wall between us. He may know and I don't know he knows, and that's ok. I still look to make sure his back is towards me when I get on the scales, and hope to God I'm off before he turns around. I have Dr's scales, and always return them to 0 when I'm done. It's just me. So Denzel Washington has no idea what intimate space he has trespassed in to. He says he has just the bike for me and he climbs a set of rolling metal stairs to get it. And yes, he tells me to get on The seat is good and I can touch the ground, and my pear fits, but I never mentioned the final problem. My knees, specifically the left one I've been babying back to health. When I bring the left pedal to its highest position, my knee is either in my armpit (according to my husband) forcing the back of my calf so snuggly against the back of my thigh that it causes a tearing sensation I try hard to avoid in the bad knee. That, or I have to flair my knees outward which is just stupid. So then Denzel goes to adjust the seat, making it higher! Ummm...hello. Ain't gonna work. No way. No how. At that point, husband takes over and gives him all the reasons the seat cannot be higher. Denzel pulls another bike. $200 more than the one that was almost ok, but way too wrong for me. He wouldn't take no for an answer. He insisted I follow him. I could see where this was going. This was going right back to elementary school gym class! Yes sirree...He took the bike to a compressor station and inflated the tires. You know what he wanted me to do? He wanted me to get on the bike AND ride it across the store! I'm not kidding!!! I think he pulls legs off grasshoppers on his day off. I looked at my husband and he looked at me, and though he said no words, his eyes were saying, "You're not ok, are you?" I was definitely not ok, and there was no way in Hell I was going to pedal JACK across the store, anymoreso than I was going to clear the bar in 4th grade gym class. Denzel really blew it when he insisted, "You're just going to have to LEARN to ride THIS bike." The Hell! Fortunately, "the bell rang" before my number was up because I could neither mount nor dismount the beast without turning it to a 45 degree angle, and though I got on it to convince Denzel of this truth, he got the last laugh as I walked away trying to delicately extract my underwear from "there". I held my head high as we exited the store and suggested to my husband that we try some place where nobody EVER shows up to offer assistance. Unfortunately, those places don't sell bikes. We walked to Sears. No bikes. So here's where you get ready to applaud...we're in Sears. Think of a clock. Sears is at 3:00 in the mall and Dick's, where the car is parked, is at noon. Going through the mall it's a pretty straight, short jaunt. Totally out of character, I suggested since it was a nice evening that we exit the mall and walk the outer perimeter of the mall back to the car! Yes I did! And, clockwise, I might add! Even my husband admitted he was proud of me. So that was 2 little exercise events for me yesterday. Lovin' me some Skecher Tone-ups! Especially with my battle scar from the footie betrayal earlier in the day. The scales are lovin' me. They are creeping down, and the only reason, I've decided, that I need to weigh every day at this point is because I am SO close to the river...I don't want to miss my cross over!!! I've not crossed over in forever! I vacationed briefly in that far away place when I did WW, but WW didn't fit me. I'm not crappin' on WW. It's great for many, many people, but I'm not one of them. I've joined 3x. I equate my success on that program with holding my breath under water....I could only do it for so long before panic and frustration set in. What I'm doing now is like a marriage of all the very best attributes from every diet I've ever tried. I took all of the components that I could reasonably adhere to and made them my own. So anyway, once I cross over, and let me tell you! You'll know when I do! At that point, I'll pick a weigh day, maybe once every 2 weeks, because, sure, I'd like to report a weight loss of big pounds. Right now it's little pieces and parts of pounds that I don't really report, not because they don't matter, but because my eyes are fixed on the river. Almost there.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Lunch and Magnets
Jennie-O Savory Seasoned Lean Turkey Burgers in the frozen food section. YUM! They come in a box of 12, but are wrapped in twosies with paper between, so you don't even have to thaw before throwing them on the grill. They weigh in at 2 ounces of turkey goodness when grilled. Lite wheat bun, a slab of vidalia onion, tomato, lettuce, pickle, and mustard...it might even be for supper too. It's that good!
Ok, my magnets. When I was 23 I was really successful on a local (at the time) program where I could have 4 starches, 5 oz meat, 3 fats, 3 fruits, 2 milks, and unlimited non-starch veggies. By successful, I mean I lost 99 pounds in like a year and maintained for 5 years...could never get that 100th one to come off. I maintained at that weight for 5 years before getting pregnant. Then everything went to Hades in a handbasket. It was during that pregnancy that my marriage became neglective and emotionally abusive. I never bothered to lose the weight after my son was born. I jumped through some hoops and tried for appearances sake, but you know, at that point I really didn't care. If I had had any self-esteem to measure at that point, I would have cared, but I resorted to food for comfort, and the rest is history. So anyway, back to the magnets. I know this was a good mix for me personally. I did it with ease. My Mom and I did it together, and we honestly thought some weeks the weigh-in lady was tampering with the scales to make us THINK we had lost to keep us coming back weekly and handing over our $5! There were things I didn't like about the program because certain foods were forbidden. Need I say more? So what I started doing right after Christmas 2009 was revisiting the structure that had worked so well, but finding places for the forbidden foods if I wanted, say, some peanut butter. Also, at the time of that program, there weren't NEARLY as many good choices, like lite buns, fat free and sugar free options, baked chips, etc. We went out and bought a bunch of magnets and spray paint and made the magnets. Brown is for starch. Green veggies. Yellow fat. White milk. Red meat, though it seldom ever is! Blue is fruit. I made a Word document with "breakfast", "lunch", "supper", and "bedtime", slipped it into a plastic page protector, and put it on the fridge. All the magnets begin the day at the bottom under bedtime. As I prepare meals, pack lunch, snack, whatever, I slide the corresponding magnets for what that meal has used up. If I only used half of a serving's worth of something, say 1/2 t oil, or 1/2 oz meat, I slide the magnet over to the far right to remind me I still have it for use later in the day. At the end of the day if I'm feeling a little snacky at bedtime, all I have to do is look and see what's left. The first month after Christmas, I lost 17 pounds. Going into the next month, I had lost 3 more pounds and got distracted. I didn't work at it at all in the months that followed, but kept an eye on my weight and I wasn't going up, so I didn't do anything. Three weeks ago I attended a week long class out of town and meals were provided, and there was an endless supply of foods...grazing, if you will...the fare was not unlike what you'd find on a cruise ship...all expenses paid. I gained 9 pounds that week! It wasn't until last week that I got really serious about committing to a plan involving good food choices AND exercise. As of this morning, I've lost all that I gained and am back to where I can say I've lost 20 pounds...albeit since Christmas, I'm about to cross a river on my return trip home. :)
Ok, my magnets. When I was 23 I was really successful on a local (at the time) program where I could have 4 starches, 5 oz meat, 3 fats, 3 fruits, 2 milks, and unlimited non-starch veggies. By successful, I mean I lost 99 pounds in like a year and maintained for 5 years...could never get that 100th one to come off. I maintained at that weight for 5 years before getting pregnant. Then everything went to Hades in a handbasket. It was during that pregnancy that my marriage became neglective and emotionally abusive. I never bothered to lose the weight after my son was born. I jumped through some hoops and tried for appearances sake, but you know, at that point I really didn't care. If I had had any self-esteem to measure at that point, I would have cared, but I resorted to food for comfort, and the rest is history. So anyway, back to the magnets. I know this was a good mix for me personally. I did it with ease. My Mom and I did it together, and we honestly thought some weeks the weigh-in lady was tampering with the scales to make us THINK we had lost to keep us coming back weekly and handing over our $5! There were things I didn't like about the program because certain foods were forbidden. Need I say more? So what I started doing right after Christmas 2009 was revisiting the structure that had worked so well, but finding places for the forbidden foods if I wanted, say, some peanut butter. Also, at the time of that program, there weren't NEARLY as many good choices, like lite buns, fat free and sugar free options, baked chips, etc. We went out and bought a bunch of magnets and spray paint and made the magnets. Brown is for starch. Green veggies. Yellow fat. White milk. Red meat, though it seldom ever is! Blue is fruit. I made a Word document with "breakfast", "lunch", "supper", and "bedtime", slipped it into a plastic page protector, and put it on the fridge. All the magnets begin the day at the bottom under bedtime. As I prepare meals, pack lunch, snack, whatever, I slide the corresponding magnets for what that meal has used up. If I only used half of a serving's worth of something, say 1/2 t oil, or 1/2 oz meat, I slide the magnet over to the far right to remind me I still have it for use later in the day. At the end of the day if I'm feeling a little snacky at bedtime, all I have to do is look and see what's left. The first month after Christmas, I lost 17 pounds. Going into the next month, I had lost 3 more pounds and got distracted. I didn't work at it at all in the months that followed, but kept an eye on my weight and I wasn't going up, so I didn't do anything. Three weeks ago I attended a week long class out of town and meals were provided, and there was an endless supply of foods...grazing, if you will...the fare was not unlike what you'd find on a cruise ship...all expenses paid. I gained 9 pounds that week! It wasn't until last week that I got really serious about committing to a plan involving good food choices AND exercise. As of this morning, I've lost all that I gained and am back to where I can say I've lost 20 pounds...albeit since Christmas, I'm about to cross a river on my return trip home. :)
My Footies Betrayed Me
I had a good breakfast this morning: coffee, egg, 2 turkey bacons, grits, and an orange. I'm down to 1 mug of coffee a day now, Splenda, no creamer. I felt a little cheated on my food yesterday because at the end of the day, all my magnets had moved, but I really hadn't eaten a LOT of food. I didn't have many vegetables, and none were raw, and everything was counted on the low and light side. 3 ounces of light cheese took up 3 of my meat magnets, and that hardly seems fair. Fake butter was a fat. 2 of my starches were 60 calories instead of my allotted 100. And then there was sauerkraut = salt. It wasn't a stellar day, but I'd rather be "bad" in the sense that I didn't eat enough than to be bad in the over direction. So today's added a bit more bang while staying within the perimeters my magnets have me.
With thunderstorms in the forecast for this afternoon, and knowing I'm still at the stage of the game where just about anything can talk me out of going for a workout, I went ahead and hit the Y. There seems to be some question regarding my membership since 2 different people have approached me on each of my 2 visits. Here's the set up. I'm on my treadmill reading my way through very bad closed captioning on Regis and Kelly. I'm sweating, and had just up'd my speed and added a slight incline, 1 beeps worth, ok? So this lady approaches me from behind at about "4 o'clock". This causes me to have to turn my head more than 90 degrees to carry on this conversation with her while keeping my feet moving forward, hoping to God I don't step off the belt and have gravity carry me where it will! She wanted to know where my husband works, how far away I live, what I do, would I be interested in their next sponsored weight loss challenge, have I tried any classes...to my response she added she'd hook me up with a schedule when I was done. Apparently my Y has merged with VATech. My membership originated as a family membership at a Y 35 miles away, but entitled (past tense I suppose) us to use all Y's within the "valley". But now, my Y, 6 minutes from my house, is no longer affiliated with the one 35 miles away. I asked if I was not ok to be there, and the nice lady said, "Oh, no, no, no, you're fine! We don't care who comes in and works out!", which really says to me I'm not SUPPOSED to be there, but they're letting me fly under the radar. I mean, she was hooking me up with classes and stuff, so it's not like she called in the bouncers or anything.
I'd still be working out, but at 1.43 miles, 250 calories, 33:43 minutes, and 1 beep of incline my shoe removed the flesh from a penny-sized blister that was nice and fresh from my footie having crept into my shoe over the course of those 33 minutes. Next time, taller socks, bandaids and a go on the elliptical following the treadmill. My hope is to add the reclining bike thing and have a morning trifecta, but it's not built for someone of my current mass to get into gracefully, so until I catch the place with a small audience, or better yet, none at all, the bike sits there bullying me. I'll get there.
With thunderstorms in the forecast for this afternoon, and knowing I'm still at the stage of the game where just about anything can talk me out of going for a workout, I went ahead and hit the Y. There seems to be some question regarding my membership since 2 different people have approached me on each of my 2 visits. Here's the set up. I'm on my treadmill reading my way through very bad closed captioning on Regis and Kelly. I'm sweating, and had just up'd my speed and added a slight incline, 1 beeps worth, ok? So this lady approaches me from behind at about "4 o'clock". This causes me to have to turn my head more than 90 degrees to carry on this conversation with her while keeping my feet moving forward, hoping to God I don't step off the belt and have gravity carry me where it will! She wanted to know where my husband works, how far away I live, what I do, would I be interested in their next sponsored weight loss challenge, have I tried any classes...to my response she added she'd hook me up with a schedule when I was done. Apparently my Y has merged with VATech. My membership originated as a family membership at a Y 35 miles away, but entitled (past tense I suppose) us to use all Y's within the "valley". But now, my Y, 6 minutes from my house, is no longer affiliated with the one 35 miles away. I asked if I was not ok to be there, and the nice lady said, "Oh, no, no, no, you're fine! We don't care who comes in and works out!", which really says to me I'm not SUPPOSED to be there, but they're letting me fly under the radar. I mean, she was hooking me up with classes and stuff, so it's not like she called in the bouncers or anything.
I'd still be working out, but at 1.43 miles, 250 calories, 33:43 minutes, and 1 beep of incline my shoe removed the flesh from a penny-sized blister that was nice and fresh from my footie having crept into my shoe over the course of those 33 minutes. Next time, taller socks, bandaids and a go on the elliptical following the treadmill. My hope is to add the reclining bike thing and have a morning trifecta, but it's not built for someone of my current mass to get into gracefully, so until I catch the place with a small audience, or better yet, none at all, the bike sits there bullying me. I'll get there.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Be Prepared and A New Bike in my Future
I'm testing the waters to see exactly HOW supportive my husband can be of what I'm doing. Last night, after the whole bike incident crawled under my skin, I threw out, "I really don't know what I should do about tomorrow." to which he immediately responded, "Pack your lunch." One: I was surprised he remembered I had an all day training session to attend. Two: I was expecting a little more debate, you know? Like cats and mice...they don't immediately go in for the kill, they play with them a while. He went for the kill, and well... he was right on! I packed a pita (of course), a light string cheese, an ounce of turkey pastrami, a cup of fresh fruit, a light yogurt, and a bag of FullBites/BBQ flavored. I wasn't crazy about 2 starches for one meal even though they balanced each other out calorie-wise with one being wee and one not-so, so I just didn't eat one at breakfast. In fact, breakfast ended up being a string cheese and coffee. I was 99.9% sure there would be some fresh fruit alongside the buffet of danishes and popovers, etc, or at the very least some OJ. Turns out, I was right, so I followed up there with a nice portion of fruit and nothing else, BUT, I DID take my half gallon milk jug of water with me too! Well, good thing I packed because those would have been some choppy waters to navigate. Normally lunch there is a meat tray and assorted sandwich makings, chips, all that, and then a table FULL of desserts. Today was not sandwich day, to I couldn't even snag some mustard, tomato, onion, lettuce...nothing. Fresh fruit would have been my only vice. They had pulled pork BBQ, baked chicken breasts covered in BBQ sauce, cole slaw, macaroni salad, red velvet cake and lemon meringue pie. Lead me not into temptation....so my husband's support delivered me from evil. I did feel really good about my lunch! But here's the kicker...nobody...not a single soul from my table of 8 colleagues spoke one word to me at lunch, and we had a whole hour to kill! Granted, they're from other schools in our tiny district, but it's not like we didn't know one another; I mean, we know each others' first names and what grade we teach. At the very least, ask me how a kid you had 3 years ago did in Math this past year! I did hear mention of how good the red velvet cake was and how this place ALWAYS makes the absolute best macaroni salad (b****!)...maybe I was momentarily invisible? I teach Special Ed, and today I was Ed! Honestly, it gave me a new perspective about what measures I might have to take in order to insure all children feel welcome in my classroom rather than just assuming.
So the other thing was the bike. My husband examined the bike as I wheeled it out of the garage; I had mentioned how I was feeling *drag*, even just pushing it. He said the brakes would need adjustment because they DO rub the tires when not in use, but only intermittently. My mind is going a mile a minute because I'm sure what all this is going to boil down to is my weight was more than the bike was made for and undoubtedly was the cause for the multitude of reasons that would follow that my bo-hunkis should not ever, ever, ever come in contact with anything of its kind ever again. Rather than point fingers and tip scales, my husband very quickly moved to the reason for us being out there in the first place (good move), so he had me get on and explain my concerns to him. Immediately he could tell the bike was too tall for me. He then demonstrated how it should fit; how was I to know? I was the 3rd kid in line for hand-me-downs and numero uno never saw the stuff new, so we got what we got as kids from other families of kids after they had used and abused them for years; there was no right or wrong way for things to be. You just eagerly waited with anticipation for years to acquire this thing or that, that had some semblance to the things your friends had! So anyway, he further concluded that the wheels are too close; I need a longer bike as well as shorter, so guess what we're doing tonight?!
Tonight's supper is going to be a tweeked version of one of my husband's favorite comfort foods (I haven't gotten the bike yet, right?) Sauerkraut on the bottom (of a casserole!!), a turkey "cheddar" smoked sausage link ( the short individual sized ones) sliced over that, topped with smashed potatoes (using Benecol, skim milk, s/p), topped with a smidgen of cheese, keeping in mind the snausages are cheesy and I already know the numbers on those...not bad, but definitely something to navigate carefully. So...yeah...individual portions in individual casseroles. And, by the way, I polished off my 64 oz at 2:25! That's all for today! Shalom~
So the other thing was the bike. My husband examined the bike as I wheeled it out of the garage; I had mentioned how I was feeling *drag*, even just pushing it. He said the brakes would need adjustment because they DO rub the tires when not in use, but only intermittently. My mind is going a mile a minute because I'm sure what all this is going to boil down to is my weight was more than the bike was made for and undoubtedly was the cause for the multitude of reasons that would follow that my bo-hunkis should not ever, ever, ever come in contact with anything of its kind ever again. Rather than point fingers and tip scales, my husband very quickly moved to the reason for us being out there in the first place (good move), so he had me get on and explain my concerns to him. Immediately he could tell the bike was too tall for me. He then demonstrated how it should fit; how was I to know? I was the 3rd kid in line for hand-me-downs and numero uno never saw the stuff new, so we got what we got as kids from other families of kids after they had used and abused them for years; there was no right or wrong way for things to be. You just eagerly waited with anticipation for years to acquire this thing or that, that had some semblance to the things your friends had! So anyway, he further concluded that the wheels are too close; I need a longer bike as well as shorter, so guess what we're doing tonight?!
Tonight's supper is going to be a tweeked version of one of my husband's favorite comfort foods (I haven't gotten the bike yet, right?) Sauerkraut on the bottom (of a casserole!!), a turkey "cheddar" smoked sausage link ( the short individual sized ones) sliced over that, topped with smashed potatoes (using Benecol, skim milk, s/p), topped with a smidgen of cheese, keeping in mind the snausages are cheesy and I already know the numbers on those...not bad, but definitely something to navigate carefully. So...yeah...individual portions in individual casseroles. And, by the way, I polished off my 64 oz at 2:25! That's all for today! Shalom~
Monday, July 19, 2010
My Afternoon
I had some errands to run, and while out I got hungry. It was after 2, and not only had I not had lunch, I hadn't eaten breakfast. I don't normally skip breakfast, so this is not something I see happening again. I just wasn't hungry, and as lunch "time" neared, I didn't know what I wanted, so until I had a clear picture in my head of what I WANTED and/or felt hunger, I wasn't going to eat. I blame this in part to the amount of chips I ate last night past what I'd normally consider my bedtime. So anyway, I'm in the grocery store...and feeling hunger. That's usually a bad thing and it usually costs a lot. Today was different. When I pulled in the parking lot I decided what it was I wanted, mainly because I knew it to be available in this store only. I wanted a tray of sushi. As I walked across the parking lot I realized the last time I had been there was 2 weeks ago when my husband was out of the country. I bought a loaf sized cake that day and ate the whole thing myself over the course of the 4 days he was gone. Why? Because I could. Was it delicious? Not really. I bake better. But it was then, and it was in that moment, but now I'm HERE, and here is good. It was a momentary flashback. I went to the sushi counter and after surveying my options I was pleased as I could be to walk away with a tray of Brown Rice Veggie Combo Roll...brown rice, carrots, cucumber, and avocado. How cool is THAT?! I added leftover fruit salad to it when I got home and decided to photograph the moment to amuse myself.
Then I decided today was the day to face The Bike. The bike I bought new probably 8 years ago and rode maybe a handful of times before I started courting again. About a month ago, my husband pumped the tires up for me, but I didn't have the courage to get on it. Today I had courage. I rearranged the seats in the van to make room for the bike. My plan was to drive into town where there's a vacant shopping center; plenty of level paved ground and no people. What? You didn't think I'd dare have my neighbors, people I KNOW see me on this thing, did you?! I'm not there yet, but I will be. So when I got on it, I swear I saw the rubber of the tires bulge. Not quite discouraged at this point, I decided to peddle it OUT of the garage and see how that would go. The knee I have babied for months, the same knee I've had no pain in the past week, found itself in a position that causes it strain when the peddle raised that knee to the highest point. I gave me vague recollection of the same issue years ago. I know nothing about buying bikes other than knowing I had never owned a shiny new one in my life and that I could afford this one at the time I purchased it. I really think this bike and my current weight are not good bedfellows. That's when I got discouraged. I parked the bike and e-mailed my husband with tears resting on the ledges of my eyes. It was a confessional of sorts, to have to admit my fears. I asked him to look at me on the bike tonight and see if I had made a mistake in buying it, or if my relationship with it was on hold awaiting more success. He was good as gold about it and agreed to look, applauding my long awaited desire to get moving, and affirming my choice in biking. He believes a bike that fits me right will help strengthen my knees without stressing them out. I was already dressed and ready to DO something, so I grabbed my keys and drove 6 minutes to the Y. I hadn't been there since maybe last August or September. I am proud to say I did the treadmill for 35 minutes at a "high" of 2.7, burned 251 calories, and covered 1.5 miles. I got my heart rate up to 150 and didn't feel death knocking. It honestly was easier today than I remember it being, perhaps in part due to my snazzy white Shape-Ups. I even sweated! When I went to get back in the van, I had sweat dripping off the ends of my hair, and could see shining trails down both sides of my neck. All the plates stayed on their sticks today and remain spinning! Tomorrow I have a 6 hour training to attend and lunch is provided. Too risky too soon. I'll pack and report back tomorrow. Shalom
Then I decided today was the day to face The Bike. The bike I bought new probably 8 years ago and rode maybe a handful of times before I started courting again. About a month ago, my husband pumped the tires up for me, but I didn't have the courage to get on it. Today I had courage. I rearranged the seats in the van to make room for the bike. My plan was to drive into town where there's a vacant shopping center; plenty of level paved ground and no people. What? You didn't think I'd dare have my neighbors, people I KNOW see me on this thing, did you?! I'm not there yet, but I will be. So when I got on it, I swear I saw the rubber of the tires bulge. Not quite discouraged at this point, I decided to peddle it OUT of the garage and see how that would go. The knee I have babied for months, the same knee I've had no pain in the past week, found itself in a position that causes it strain when the peddle raised that knee to the highest point. I gave me vague recollection of the same issue years ago. I know nothing about buying bikes other than knowing I had never owned a shiny new one in my life and that I could afford this one at the time I purchased it. I really think this bike and my current weight are not good bedfellows. That's when I got discouraged. I parked the bike and e-mailed my husband with tears resting on the ledges of my eyes. It was a confessional of sorts, to have to admit my fears. I asked him to look at me on the bike tonight and see if I had made a mistake in buying it, or if my relationship with it was on hold awaiting more success. He was good as gold about it and agreed to look, applauding my long awaited desire to get moving, and affirming my choice in biking. He believes a bike that fits me right will help strengthen my knees without stressing them out. I was already dressed and ready to DO something, so I grabbed my keys and drove 6 minutes to the Y. I hadn't been there since maybe last August or September. I am proud to say I did the treadmill for 35 minutes at a "high" of 2.7, burned 251 calories, and covered 1.5 miles. I got my heart rate up to 150 and didn't feel death knocking. It honestly was easier today than I remember it being, perhaps in part due to my snazzy white Shape-Ups. I even sweated! When I went to get back in the van, I had sweat dripping off the ends of my hair, and could see shining trails down both sides of my neck. All the plates stayed on their sticks today and remain spinning! Tomorrow I have a 6 hour training to attend and lunch is provided. Too risky too soon. I'll pack and report back tomorrow. Shalom
FOUND IT! A Week, plus or minus a day
One day in the course of last week, I was fortunate enough to catch the article on Sean Anderson on AOL. The planets must have been properly aligned because for whatever reason, I clicked. I've battled my weight my entire life. It seemed to always win. I've done program after program, spent more money than I care to think about, and left each program with a feeling rotten about myself. I learned things along the way and have gleaned better habits as a whole, so let's end the complaining right there, and begin again.
I know what to do and I know I am the only person who can do this for me. I deserve this. I am worthy! Previous efforts have been like spinning plates on sticks...one starts to wobble so I focus on it. Another gets weak and I again change focus. My co-workers all know I "diet", they even come to me for new food discoveries I've braved and ideas for this craving or that, but what they've witnessed is 10 years of my very best dog-paddling. They haven't seen great loss. They've seen the amount of effort I've put forth to not weigh MORE.
So back to Sean. Many lights shined brightly as I read the article on AOL, read his blog, read the blogs of his kindred...pieces and parts started coming together and making sense to me. I realized I possessed all the right "stuff", but was allowing my tools to just lay around. I needed a toolbelt so as to have all my tools with me and in motion at once. I felt encouragement from a source I hadn't considered. A total stranger who seemingly knew WAY too much about what it was like to be ME! In the time that passed as I read their words, clearly everything that happened before I picked up my laptop that morning became my past, and everything else became my here, my now, and my future.
I'm 45. I like numbers. I like that I was was born on an even number. I like that my birth month is a factor of my birth day and year. I don't know why! I married an even number the second time around, and it's all good. His birth month is a multiple of mine. My first marriage was odd...need I say more? That's funny, so take pause to laugh. My son is even across the board. Our birth dates are 20, 22, 24. All good things to me require order, but it's usually after they fall into place that I say, "Hey look! It fits!". So here's why I believe now is the time. I'm 45. I'm looking 50 straight in the eye. My Mom had her first heart attack at 50. She died on 1-11-01. She was 66. Fifty and 66 have become some swirling vortex sucking me in. I don't want to have a heart attack, muchless within the next 5 years. My greatest victory thus far over heredity has been the privilege of saying I am still, to this very day, the only member of my family NOT on medication for cholesterol, blood pressure, depression, diabetes, or any combination thereof. Granted, I'm the baby, but even at 45 my siblings fought demons.
Being the baby and losing a parent who was already having health problems before I said goodbye to my 20's, I saw behaviors and consequences all the years I lived at home. I felt I might have some advantage since I decided I would never smoke. I saw what it does to a family when one member deteriorates too soon. I have one son and I don't want that for him. So as the 50's close in, I'm broadcasting my goal. My goal is this: by the time I am 50, I will have repaired the damage. "Damage" will reveal many facets along the way. My body will be strong and healthy. I can't wrap my head around a number I'd like to shoot for, but undoubtedly it will be even and/or a multiple of 5 just for my own amusement. I know I have more than 100 pounds to lose, but for now, let's say 105. In that, I will cross two major rivers. That would deliver me to a weight I've not seen since my second month of pregnancy...my son is 15 now.
I know what to do and I know I am the only person who can do this for me. I deserve this. I am worthy! Previous efforts have been like spinning plates on sticks...one starts to wobble so I focus on it. Another gets weak and I again change focus. My co-workers all know I "diet", they even come to me for new food discoveries I've braved and ideas for this craving or that, but what they've witnessed is 10 years of my very best dog-paddling. They haven't seen great loss. They've seen the amount of effort I've put forth to not weigh MORE.
So back to Sean. Many lights shined brightly as I read the article on AOL, read his blog, read the blogs of his kindred...pieces and parts started coming together and making sense to me. I realized I possessed all the right "stuff", but was allowing my tools to just lay around. I needed a toolbelt so as to have all my tools with me and in motion at once. I felt encouragement from a source I hadn't considered. A total stranger who seemingly knew WAY too much about what it was like to be ME! In the time that passed as I read their words, clearly everything that happened before I picked up my laptop that morning became my past, and everything else became my here, my now, and my future.
I'm 45. I like numbers. I like that I was was born on an even number. I like that my birth month is a factor of my birth day and year. I don't know why! I married an even number the second time around, and it's all good. His birth month is a multiple of mine. My first marriage was odd...need I say more? That's funny, so take pause to laugh. My son is even across the board. Our birth dates are 20, 22, 24. All good things to me require order, but it's usually after they fall into place that I say, "Hey look! It fits!". So here's why I believe now is the time. I'm 45. I'm looking 50 straight in the eye. My Mom had her first heart attack at 50. She died on 1-11-01. She was 66. Fifty and 66 have become some swirling vortex sucking me in. I don't want to have a heart attack, muchless within the next 5 years. My greatest victory thus far over heredity has been the privilege of saying I am still, to this very day, the only member of my family NOT on medication for cholesterol, blood pressure, depression, diabetes, or any combination thereof. Granted, I'm the baby, but even at 45 my siblings fought demons.
Being the baby and losing a parent who was already having health problems before I said goodbye to my 20's, I saw behaviors and consequences all the years I lived at home. I felt I might have some advantage since I decided I would never smoke. I saw what it does to a family when one member deteriorates too soon. I have one son and I don't want that for him. So as the 50's close in, I'm broadcasting my goal. My goal is this: by the time I am 50, I will have repaired the damage. "Damage" will reveal many facets along the way. My body will be strong and healthy. I can't wrap my head around a number I'd like to shoot for, but undoubtedly it will be even and/or a multiple of 5 just for my own amusement. I know I have more than 100 pounds to lose, but for now, let's say 105. In that, I will cross two major rivers. That would deliver me to a weight I've not seen since my second month of pregnancy...my son is 15 now.
Technology is a wonderful thing, I suppose.
Same day~ The condensed version of what I tried to post earlier is this:
I'm 45 and I want a healthy body before I'm 50. I was fortunate to catch Sean Anderson's article on AOL last week and that all got this ball rolling! My niece actually blew some air into the ball 2 months ago and got me in the right mind set. If I had said last week that I wanted to lose 110 pounds, I could say today that 6 are gone! I didn't say that last week though because I needed to get all the plates spinning on their respective sticks. All I did was adhere to drinking 64oz+ water each day and eat smaller portions...like, normal portions, and made good caloric food choices. Have I stumbled? Yes, I thought so, but I'm letting myself off the hook. Last night after eating well all day and avoiding some obstacles that I saw coming (in the form of deviled eggs, bbq, and brownies), I was antsy. I didn't feel deprived, but I honestly think I was running too low on calories. Sean mentioned Joseph's Pitas, and I ordered a CASE! I'm glad I did! They're wonderful! Anyway, prior to those coming into my rubic's cube of a diet, I aimed for 100 calories for a starch and allowed myself 4 per day. So yesterday I'd eat a pita and move a magnet (I'll explain my magnets later), but nighttime came and I wanted food, and it was one of those times I didn't know what I wanted and nothing seemed to appeal, and all my magnets were gone, and so finally I picked up a bag of 40% less fat sunflower...multigrain...chips to keep me company while I watched America's Got Talent. The chips claim to be cheddar, but I didn't pick up on that. I ate more than I would have at any other time this past week, perhaps even collectively, and put myself to bed. I didn't feel like I had failed, but I wondered what was wrong. Why had I not encountered hunger at any other time this past week? In looking back over the day, knowing I was having company and they were bringing food, even knowing what the food was, I didn't really have a firm plan. My husband made a huge bowl of fresh fruit salad and I relied on that heavily to carry me through. I weighed out 1.5oz pig and didn't get sauce (I don't advise...it didn't taste good. The pig is cooked with an impending marriage to sauce, and without it...yuk), and had an oz of chips, then made myself a crepe using a pita and ff pudding. I literally took it and ate it in the bedroom so a not to feel I had to offer any to guests who had brownies. Supper was Pecan Crusted Tilapia with Sweet Potato Chipotle Sauce (frozen food section of grocery chain that starts with a K!). Not a bad calorie choice! With it I had 3 bean salad and half of a sweet potato, steamed. Anyway, at the end of the day, I think my calorie bank had money to spare, so I withdrew with seemingly wild abandon on a food choice I should be proud of. This morning, the scales moved more than they have at any other time this past week, and in the pleasing direction no less!! I would love to break myself of weighing daily, but I have worse habits in queue. Today is a clean slate and I will make adjustments. 4 pitas x 60 calories does not = 4 starches, unless I'm not hungry. ;) Shalom
I'm 45 and I want a healthy body before I'm 50. I was fortunate to catch Sean Anderson's article on AOL last week and that all got this ball rolling! My niece actually blew some air into the ball 2 months ago and got me in the right mind set. If I had said last week that I wanted to lose 110 pounds, I could say today that 6 are gone! I didn't say that last week though because I needed to get all the plates spinning on their respective sticks. All I did was adhere to drinking 64oz+ water each day and eat smaller portions...like, normal portions, and made good caloric food choices. Have I stumbled? Yes, I thought so, but I'm letting myself off the hook. Last night after eating well all day and avoiding some obstacles that I saw coming (in the form of deviled eggs, bbq, and brownies), I was antsy. I didn't feel deprived, but I honestly think I was running too low on calories. Sean mentioned Joseph's Pitas, and I ordered a CASE! I'm glad I did! They're wonderful! Anyway, prior to those coming into my rubic's cube of a diet, I aimed for 100 calories for a starch and allowed myself 4 per day. So yesterday I'd eat a pita and move a magnet (I'll explain my magnets later), but nighttime came and I wanted food, and it was one of those times I didn't know what I wanted and nothing seemed to appeal, and all my magnets were gone, and so finally I picked up a bag of 40% less fat sunflower...multigrain...chips to keep me company while I watched America's Got Talent. The chips claim to be cheddar, but I didn't pick up on that. I ate more than I would have at any other time this past week, perhaps even collectively, and put myself to bed. I didn't feel like I had failed, but I wondered what was wrong. Why had I not encountered hunger at any other time this past week? In looking back over the day, knowing I was having company and they were bringing food, even knowing what the food was, I didn't really have a firm plan. My husband made a huge bowl of fresh fruit salad and I relied on that heavily to carry me through. I weighed out 1.5oz pig and didn't get sauce (I don't advise...it didn't taste good. The pig is cooked with an impending marriage to sauce, and without it...yuk), and had an oz of chips, then made myself a crepe using a pita and ff pudding. I literally took it and ate it in the bedroom so a not to feel I had to offer any to guests who had brownies. Supper was Pecan Crusted Tilapia with Sweet Potato Chipotle Sauce (frozen food section of grocery chain that starts with a K!). Not a bad calorie choice! With it I had 3 bean salad and half of a sweet potato, steamed. Anyway, at the end of the day, I think my calorie bank had money to spare, so I withdrew with seemingly wild abandon on a food choice I should be proud of. This morning, the scales moved more than they have at any other time this past week, and in the pleasing direction no less!! I would love to break myself of weighing daily, but I have worse habits in queue. Today is a clean slate and I will make adjustments. 4 pitas x 60 calories does not = 4 starches, unless I'm not hungry. ;) Shalom
Where did it go?!
I just wrote an extensive entry, MY FIRST, and all of the sudden, *poof* it was gone! I think I'll try and post this little blip on the screen and see if I am met with success.
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