I had no intention of this becoming a weekly thing. I was doing so much better when it was daily. This has been an exceptionally rough work week with very high highs and very low lows. Food has been crazy at best. I tend to put the needs of my students ahead of my own, and with so MANY this year, I'm pretty low on the totem pole. I haven't taken a vitamin or joint soother all week and my parts are feeling it. I went in at 7am and left at 6pm. I crave the routine and discipline I had this summer and wonder if I'll ever lose another pound. God forbid I gain back what I've lost. I'm on a precarious spot, still close to the river I waited so long to cross; I dare not gain myself so close to the water's edge. I don't anticipate good news at the scale tomorrow and I have only myself to blame. It's been a week of Pizza Hut pizza and sweet Lebanon bologna sandwiches on white bread with real mayo. I've had my water, but in the form of hot green tea. Despite that, I wore a straight skirt today I've not managed to wear in probably 8 years. I felt pretty...maybe even sexy. Did I say THAT??? Oh my!
My husband bought me my own digital camera this week. It was supposed to be a Christmas present, but when I mentioned I'd like to look at one last weekend, he had to spill the beans and tell me there was one on the way. I can use it for work, but also for my own crazy shots of plated meals. That helped me do better this past summer...sort of a visual journal. I had been filling my husband's camera with pictures of my meals and manicures...he thought it a bit weird and decided it was time for me to have my own technology. .I know this slump is temporary, but I felt so alive when I was doing it right. Now I'm saturated with the needs of students with disabilities, 23 students in all, and I'm overwhelmed. Some nights I only sleep 5-6 hours, but I require 8-10 to maintain ANY sense of humor at all. This is my next 8 months, so I best make peace with the challenges before they kill me. We'll see what tomorrow brings and hope for the best, right?! I'm happy to see my blogger friend "Sib" has signed on. :) Lift me up ladies!!! I'm floundering!!!
You won't gain back the weight. You're paying attention and being good, as best you can with the hectic schedule, and it sounds like you've got enough support at home that you can say "I can't do the cooking" now and then, and the cooking will get done.
ReplyDeleteWe still share a camera, here. So it's a bunch of garden pictures (me), a bunch of pet pictures (him), and a bunch of pictures of weekend trips we take (both). :)