One week down. How many to go??? Let's see....180 days,5 days in a school week, so 36, one down, 35 to go...
It wasn't a terrible week. Food was pretty ok most days, but there were several times I ate things and was unable to be totally accurate in knowing what I had or had not eaten, and that's all it takes to make me feel defeated some days. And then, it basically boils down to all my energy going in to work, so I come home a little more exhausted each day of the week. By last night, I was so beat driving home, I was afraid I'd cause an accident. I've never been tired to the point of having nausea, but last night, supper was a mere 200 calories, I still had almost 500 left after that, but by 7:30pm, I was in bed asleep. I've never been so spent. I slept until the alarm went off at 5am. I'm not as tired tonight, but last night was following 2 nights of very little sleep. Emotionally, it's been frustrating because when I sneak a peek at the scales, my weight isn't going down, and it's because of the gray area this week and losing the precision. When I wasn't working, I was nailing food and exercise, never hungry, and experienced "balance" like I've not known in so long. I've had moments of real grief this week because I'm struggling to maintain what I worked so hard to put in to motion. What was starting to seem easy and spontaneous has become rigorous this week. I've got nothing left at the end of my days for exercise. Most nights, I struggle to process my options for dinner. Some days I didn't get my water in. I have the past 2 days. Breakfast one morning was a breakfast cookie with the calories printed on the label JUST so I could dodge having to weigh food, calculate calories, and write everything down, itemized. I enjoyed that month of summer where my freedom allowed me the necessary time to do the right thing, but now it's stressing me out and I feel like my success is dangling by a thread. Once this week, when I peeked at the scales, I was on the wrong side of the river!!! I was back where I was supposed to be this morning, but I don't foresee loss at the scales tomorrow. I'll be surprised if there's even a fraction of a pound gone, and that's with last week's little gain too. I've lost the rhythm things had. I'm not giving up; just venting. Tonight I had roughly 800+ calories left going in to supper. My son had to be back to school for band at 5 to travel to an away game, so there was no point in driving 20 miles home only to turn around and go back. Plus, husband left for Mississippi with work today and will be gone a week, so (i don't cook...) ;) Still, son needed supper, so we went Mexican. I ordered with care. I had a grilled vegetable quesadilla that had lettuce, guacamole, and sour cream on the side, and also rice. We nibbled on salsa and chips beforehand, and I drank water putting me over 64oz today. What I had could NOT have exceeded 800+ calories, so I hope I'm good with that. Maybe the scales will surprise me. We'll see...
You're doing fine. The goal isn't perfection--it's improvement. And you're doing a million times better than you were, right? (This is what I tell myself, at least, about myself--the first week of the semester has been tough for both of us, it seems! I'm not meeting my own calorie goals--and, this week, I have also not met my workout goals. But I certainly haven't gained, and I might even have lost--really slowly. I'm sure you haven't gained, really, either; it's just fluctuations, which are normal.)
ReplyDeleteOne thing I would caution you about is be sure not to go too far under 1500 calories, at least not too often. If you end up below 1200 (or thereabouts) very often, it can slow your metabolism, and then you really might gain.
I love you, and you are doing awesome. Please don't get discouraged or stressed out! Find your zen, somewhere in all of this, and you will find your rhythm to make it work. At least most of the time, which is honestly all anyone can ask. (Seriously, perfect is the enemy of good, especially in weight loss. If we expect perfection, when we inevitably "let ourselves down," [by making any less-than-perfect choice ever] we focus on the negatives instead of all the things we're doing really well.)
Awwww....thank you. I needed that encouragement. I was pretty far down in the dumps last night, and my wits were threadbare. It was nearing midnight when I was retrieving son after the game (we won!), and I was feeling pouty because husband is gone; it didn't help that when he called he told me the client changed the meeting from today until Monday! He learned this while sitting in Charlotte waiting for his connecting flight...took him 9 hours to get there in what he could have driven in 10. So that pushed my lip out farther because he wouldn't have had to have been gone all weekend, which translates to I wouldn't have had to have been left alone in a house with cupcakes all weekend. Today is looking up. I'll add another post shortly. Love you too
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