Weigh Day!

-3.25 for the week

-14.75 for my first month

-26.75 since I made my mind up at Christmas to do SOMEthing.

I am so happy today! It's my 1 month anniversary of making this change. I've crossed the river and have reached the point of no return, where I can hope to never see "those" numbers again. I can certainly make 30 before school starts if next week is as good as this week. I embarked on cleaning my closet this week. I don't know if I wrote about it or not. I think I mentioned it...but I have clothes that haven't been worn in over 10 years. They're pre-divorce clothes...perfectly good clothes, but they have bad vibes. I kept them because they were perfectly good clothes, but had to talk myself through a process of elimination. If I lost enough weight to wear them again, would I really want to??? I took a 30 gallon trash can piled high to Goodwill this week. I laundered the things I kept that I was surprised I could wear again NOW. I took 2 very flattering long linen dresses with matching jackets to the dry cleaners. I know I haven't worn those in over 5 years because I wasn't re-married yet, and one of them, I wore to my interview for my current job! And that was the last time I was able to wear it. I have proportion issues, all the more apparent as weight comes off. I begin losing at the top of my head, I'm sure, and gradually, lose lower and lower. My rear has always been where I carry the most weight, and it's horrible shopping for pants. If I find pants that go over my hips, they either don't land at my waist in back, or they do, but gap open by many inches at the waist. Either way, that's not comfortable. I've done drawstrings, but they're usually jersey cotton, and my rump and thighs are way too bumpy for me to be convinced THAT's a good look. I suspect I'll do a lot of long dresses and skirts for work this year. I don't think I wore a single dress last year. I lack confidence in knowing what looks good, and what shoes should go with what look. I've never been good at that, but when you think about it, what I've worn my whole life has boiled down to wat fits...not so much what I liked or what was in style. It's not like I had many options. There have always been more options for the top half. I ordered some new items this week for work, and ordered 1-2 sizes smaller. You know the line where sizes jump in price by $5?...I took a leap of faith and ordered the size on the cheaper side. First time in YEARS! If I can't wear it the moment it arrives, I'll be wearing it in another month. I feel very liberated; very free from my weight. It can't all fall off at once, but I know I'm doing the right thing for long term success. And even though I am constantly aware of what I've consumed, and what I'll consume next, and how many calories that leaves me with to consume later, "my weight"...the negative impact, the negative issue, the prison my weight had become is unlocked. It's still there, but I see freedom, and there's nothing between me and it, nothing but time.